some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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