Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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