I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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