Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
this just has baby written all over it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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