he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
