Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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