I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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