after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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