I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
