I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I have post one night stand depression
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