come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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