HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
