No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
