your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He better not be in your backpack
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
