I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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