I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
