Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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