I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
His nipple licking is glorious
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