He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
