i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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