Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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