Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
