i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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