Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
