If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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