the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
