now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
