you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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