just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
