then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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