dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
