I feel great
I just peed on a car
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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