was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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