There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
