Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
