she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
