I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
