You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
