Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
