..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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