I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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