I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
