god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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