i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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