Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
