You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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