Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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