We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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