Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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