I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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