Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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