I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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