Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize