So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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