is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
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