two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
