I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Two words: blizzard sex
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
