just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
