Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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