kristin has been a bad kristin
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
