ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
should my penis look like a turkey
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
