my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
