He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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