i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I smell like Dick and happiness
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize