I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
