Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
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