You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
