i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
