im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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