Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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